


True Happiness

by d3stined_t0_expl0de



Series: True Happiness (Season 15 Rework) [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27666262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d3stined_t0_expl0de/pseuds/d3stined_t0_expl0de
Summary: 15x20 never happened don't even. 15x18 and 15x19 did. Set after 15x19.Dean is sad. I am sad. Destiel.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Series: True Happiness (Season 15 Rework) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121924
Kudos: 15





	1. Chapter 1

"I always wondered ever since I took that burden, that curse, I wondered what it could be. What my true happiness could even look like. I never found an answer. Because the one thing that I want is something I know I can't have."

BANG

"But I think I know, I think I know now, happiness isn't in the having it's in just being. It's in just saying it."

"What are you talking about, man?" Dean asked confused.

Cas stepped closer to him. "I know, I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, you're angry and you're broken. You're daddy's blunt instrument. You think that hate and anger that's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done, the good, the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are."

BANG

"You're the most caring man on earth, you are the most selfless loving human being I will ever know." Cas said with tears welling up in his eyes.

BANG

"You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you has changed me." He smiled through the tears. "Because you cared, I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack."

BANG

"You changed me Dean." He chuckled.

"Why does this sound like a goodbye?" Dean asked.

"Because it is." Dean cocked his head slightly confused as to what exactly was going on. "I love you."

"Don't do this Cas." Dean said pleading. At that moment The Empty showed up from behind Dean like a black sludge, coming from the wall. Dean turned to see it, then back at Cas with growing concern.

BANG

The door of the dungeon opened revealing Billie at the ready with her scythe.

"Cas!" Dean exclaimed.

Castiel clasped his hand on Dean's shoulder and gave a small smile. "Goodbye Dean." He said before pushing Dean to the ground out of the way of The Empty. Dean watched helpless as The Empty shot forward to devour Cas as well as Billie.

I'm the next minute the Empty was gone and Dean was left all alone on the cold concrete floor of the dungeon.

*****

Dean had replayed that scene in his head too many damn times to count. He still couldn't believe it had ended like this. With him crying his eyes out on the concrete. Him drinking himself half to death in the library. Falling asleep on tear-stained pillow cases. He didn't know when the feelings between him and Cas had changed into something more than friends. He just knew that there had definitely been a change. It was a slow shift like falling asleep. But it was so simple to fall into.

Cas made it easy to fall for him. There had to be something ironic about falling in love with a fallen angel. He had honestly been surprised when Cas had told him how he felt but looking back on it, it made sense. All the lingering looks between them, watching over him, the utter lack of personal space, it all made so much sense. Dean had always thought it was just Cas being Cas. Being an angel and not fully understanding how humans worked. It seemed he had been wrong, maybe Cas had always understood. He was just trying to get Dean to notice him. And he had definitely noticed him alright. They had a profound bond after all. Putting someone's soul back together would do that to you, he had thought.

Dean wiped the tears from his eyes and took another swig from his beer. “I love you.” Those words echoed in his mind. He hadn’t said it back. It all happened too fast for him to process, one minute he was running through the bunker away from Billie hot on their tracks, the next Cas was explaining his deal with the Empty, then the confession and Cas being taken by the Empty. Dean kept having nightmares about that moment. The Empty slowly absorbing Cas the way it did. Cas’s smile not wavering. It woke him up many a time. He kept hoping that maybe somehow, he would roll over and see Cas reading a book on the loveseat that Dean had moved into his room just for him, “the guy watches me sleep anyway why not have a place for him to sit” he had informed him when Sam asked about it. But once again, he hadn’t been there when Dean had woken up. He was alone. Completely and utterly alone. The bunker felt so empty these days. Sure, he had Sam, he would always have Sam and they had taken in that dog they had found, Miracle. Jack even checked in on them once in a while. But without Cas, things just weren’t right. Even after they had made Chuck mortal, Dean still wasn’t happy.

Dean got up out of bed and opened his door. Miracle raised his head towards Dean. He had been laying on the other side of the door waiting unbeknownst to Dean. The dog was clearly already aware of Dean’s emotional state despite only having known the man for two weeks. “Come on, Miro. We have a Nephilim to summon.” He told the dog who instantly got up and wagged his tail following Dean into the library.

As Dean entered the library, Sam’s head popped up from his laptop. The younger Winchester smiled at his brother. “Hey, Dean, nice to see you.” Dean pulled out a chair across the table and sat down. “I’m glad to see you’re walking around like a real person and not just moping in your room like some zombie.” He quipped. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Hey listen, man. I need that big brain of yours to do some work for me.” Dean huffed already regretting coming out of his cocoon.

Sam readjusted his body position and sat up straighter. “Sure, what’s up?” He asked.

“I need a spell. I need to talk to Jack and I don’t mean any of that ‘face clock’ thing you guys do.”

Sam let out a laugh. “Dean, it’s called FaceTime.” He said barely believing his brother was so bad at remembering names of technology but then again years ago he had called a lamp a ‘light stick’.

“Whatever man, you know what I mean.” Dean groaned. “We need to figure out a way to bring his god-ish ass down here.” He paused. “Now, you know a spell like that or not?”

“Actually, I don’t. I mean we’ve summoned Gods before but never God himself. Definitely not one that was part human that’s for sure.”  
Dean frowned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “So, we can’t then?”

“I never said that! We just might have to piece together a couple spells together to do it but we can try. I’m sure there’s something in Rowena’s spell book that can help.” Sam said already rushing up to get it.


	2. The Summoning

After mixing up all of the ingredients (a little eye of newt here, some rosewood there, a little bit of angelica root) and setting it on fire, they were ready to start their spell. This would be the first time Sam had ever had to make his own spell from scratch as it were and he was hopeful that this would work. 

“Producat in medium angelus Dei puer nobis.” Sam said careful to pronounce every word correctly. But alas nothing happened. They waited a moment before trying again. Still no luck. “I’m going to try to see where we went wrong.” Sam said before leaving the room knowing full well that if Jack did show up Dean would probably want to talk to him alone. He could always talk to the kid some other time; besides he was still on their family plan and he could track the kid down by Find My iPhone. 

With the faint flapping of wings Jack appeared. “Hello.” Jack said, raising his hand the way he always did.

“How you doin’, kid?” Dean asked him with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. Jack knew what that meant. Dean was upset about something but he ‘sure as hell’ wasn’t going to say anything about it to him. 

“I’m good Dean. How are you?” he asked with a small smile. He was glad to see one of his adoptive dads but he wasn’t too thrilled that he clearly wasn’t in a good mood.

“Oh me, I’m just great.” Dean said with a voice that was much less than convincing. “You hear anything from Cas.” He asked, hoping Jack would know something. Jack smiled. Of course, that’s what Dean was inquiring about. He had wondered when either brother would ask about Cas. 

“Well I can certainly tell you he’s not sleeping.” Jack said. Dean’s eyes went large. 

“He isn’t? I thought that’s what they did up there. When angels…” Dean’s voice trailed off, clearly unable to finish that sentence. 

“Yeah but he just couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t his ‘time’, I believe you’d call it.” Jack said.

“Oh” Was all Dean could muster up. His thoughts whirling at a million miles a minute. Was he ok? Was he still in The Empty? Was the Empty torturing him to fall back asleep like the last time?

“He’s in heaven.” Jack continued. “I needed his help. My grandfather set up heaven to be just memories as you know. Floating in and out of all the positive and best moments of your life. But now that I am ‘in charge’, I decided that needed to be improved. Of course, that was harder than originally expected. I had to knock down some metaphorical doors, you see.” As Jack kept talking, the less Dean understood. He shot him a puzzled look. “I needed Cas to bounce ideas off of and help me get things running.”

“Gotcha.” Dean said clearly still confused. “So, he’s doing that now? Running things while you’re on earth?” Dean asked. 

“We’re still in the early stages of seeing how heaven 2.0 will go. And see if everything is running smoothly.”

“And you were able to get the Empty to agree to that?” 

“It was very difficult to convince The Empty of course that heaven even needed an upgrade or that I needed Cas to do it, but once I explained my new ‘title’. He understood.” Jack smiled a little mischievously. Dean nodded approvingly.

“So, is he reachable?” Dean asked not fully knowing how to go about his plan or even if he had a plan at all. Jack nodded.

“Not for too long though, it seems to be a job for two right now and Aunt Amara isn’t being particularly helpful at the moment.”

“Can I speak to him now?” Jack nodded again and disappeared. Dean waited a moment gathering his confidence.

“Hello Dean.” Came Dean’s favourite voice.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They both deserve good things. And they'll get them too.

Dean smiled a warm smile at Cas. The one that always made Cas' heart melt and those damn butterflies start swarming again. The ridiculousness of it made Cas laugh internally. Imagine that an angel with butterflies.

"Cas." was all Dean could make out before hugging the man in front of him. "I missed you so much man."he said into Cas' neck. Vibrations tickling Cas.

Cas hesitated. This wasn't exactly what he had expected if he ever saw Dean again. He hadn't expected to be yelled at either after his confession, but he wasn't sure exactly what he had been expecting. He wrapped his arms around the hunter. "I missed you too Dean." 

When they pulled apart, Castiel noticed that Dean had tears in his eyes. He felt a sting knowing he was the reason. "How have you been Dean?"

"ive been good. But more importantly I just need to say this." Dean took a breath. "I know now everything you did. Everything you did for me. Thank you Cas." He smiled tears threatening to spill. "I can't even begin to tell you how I felt when you left. How wrecked I was."

"It's ok Dean. We don't have to talk about it." Cas said. 

"Yeah well I do. I need to tell you that" Dean sighed wiping his eyes. "I love you too."

Cas' eyes grew wide. This was definitely not what he had been expecting to hear. Castiel could hardly believe what was coming out of the hunters mouth. "Y-you do?" he stuttered.

Dean blushed a little. "Yeah. Hell yeah man. I uh." He said scratching the back of his head clearly nervous. "I think I always have. At least for a while I guess." Cas blushed, looking down. "I just can't believe it took me so long to admit it."

"Well," Cas started voice shaky. "It took me awhile to say it too."

"Yeah well ive always been bad at feelings, y'know?" Dean said.

"Yes I am aware of your qualms with 'chick flick moments'." He said actually using the finger movements.

Dean laughed. "it's adorable when you do that, by the way. Just thought you should know that." Cas blushed furiously.

He gently grasped Dean's hands in his. Carefully as if not to break them. He didn't want to overwhelm Dean. Especially since this was clearly new to either of them. Dean smiled that gorgeous smile and interlaced their fingers. Cas had a feeling he'd be blushing a lot in the near future. Blue eyes met green and they slowly stepped closer together. Dean let go of Cas' hand and instead gently placed his hands on either side of Cas' face. Cas leaned his face into Dean's palm. Dean's breath hitched. He still couldn't believe how beautiful his angel was. His angel. He looked into Cas' eyes and glanced down at his lips, before returning to his eyes as if asking for permission. Cas lifted his heels off the ground to reach Dean and he chuckled before leaning and pressing their lips gently together. As soon as their lips touched Dean felt sparks. As corny as it sounded. He felt Cas' lips curve into a smile. It made him giddy. He leaned closer deepening the kiss. Cas' right hand came up to nestle his fingers into the hair at Dean's nape. 

This was almost like breathing. He thought to himself. He wondered why he had ever ignored his feelings in the first place. Now that this moment was here it was glorious. Heavenly even. He wondered why he hadn't been kissing Ccas all along. Their lips fit together like puzzle pieces. They eventually pulled apart for air and gazed into each other's eyes.

"I love you" Dean sighed breathless.

"I love you too." Cas said.

"I mean it." Dean said looking into Cas' ocean eyes. "I love you. And I'm never going to stop telling you. You deserve to hear those words until you get sick of them Cas."

Cas chuckled. "I highly doubt I would ever tire of those words Dean."

"Well good because I'll tell you everyday." He pulled Cas' hand his lips and kissed every knuckle softly. "I'm going to tell you every morning and every night." He let go of Cas' hand and did the same thing on the other. "For the rest of my life."

Castiel laughed. "Promise?" he asked pointing out his pinky finger. 

"I promise." Dean said hooking his pinky with Cas'. "Always"

Cad wiped away their tears before capturing Dean's mouth in his again. He doubted he could ever get used to this.


	4. Be Here When I Get Back

A cough came from behind them, and they broke apart. Dean turned around still clutching Cas' hand in his.

Sam stood before them with an amused smirk. "Can I just say that it took long enough for you guys to get your heads out of your asses?"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Oh screw off." he exclaimed. Cas laughed. 

"No, seriously. I mean it." Sam continued. 

"Shut up Sam." Dean huffed. 

"It's nice to see you, Sam." Cas said. 

"It's good to see you too Cas." Sam replied enveloping him in a bear hug. "I'm glad you're back. It was starting to feel real empty around here without you." Dean groaned at the pun. Cas chuckled. Jack appeared at that moment. 

"Hey Jack. It's nice to see you kiddo." Sam said to him hugging his pretty-much-nephew. 

"Hi guys." Jack smiled. "I really hate to break up our family reunion but Cas and I have to get back to heaven." 

"So what are you guys doing in heaven exactly?" Sam asked. 

"We're building heaven from the ground up." Cas answered. 

"So you're doing a renovation show?" Dean asked jokingly. 

"Yes. We're basically Chip and Joanna Gaines!" Jack said excitedly. 

"But without all the scandals of course." Cas clarified for his son. 

"So it takes 1 1/2 angels to rebuild heaven?" Dean asked. 

"Well Aunt Amara's helping too, but yes." Jack said. 

"So what does that entail?" 

"We're trying to make heaven what it always should have been. Everyone together. And happy." Jack grinned. Sam nodded. 

"Well," Cas started. Dean's eyes snapped to meet his. Cas smiled a small smile. "We should be going." Sam nodded again. He understood that this was a good thing. 

Dean however frowned. "But Cas." his voice trailed. "We only just got you back, man." He said trying not to let his voice waver. 

Cas smiled. "It's alright, Dean. Just be here when I get back." 

"And don't die before heaven's ready!" Jack added in. 

Dean ignored Jack's comment. "You swear you'll be back?" He asked. 

Cas smiled. "Trust me, you wouldn't be able to keep me away." Dean's eyes brightened at that. He nodded. He hesitated before leaning in to meet Cas' lips. Electricity hitting him again. They separated and within a moment with the fluttering of wings, both angels were gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought!


End file.
